Ah… The French and their food. Everybody knows how food and dining etiquette are important in France. Meals are sacred. They encourage social and family gatherings. They make us share precious moments and discussions together. Families in France eat dinner properly seated at the table. They enjoy the family time spent around a good dinner and talk about their day.
In fact, in France, we can spend hours sitting around a table, eating and discussing all kinds of topics. I remember attending lunches where I would sit at the table at 11am and not get up before 5pm, after dessert. Childhood memories.
But, if you love the French language and would like to learn it the right way, it’s always a good thing to know more about French culture. French cuisine is precious. Let alone French dining etiquette. Let me guide you through the most common dining rules in France. Without further due, let’s get started with 10 dining etiquette tips in France, some règles de bienséance.
1. Do not arrive empty-handed
This might seem obvious to some, not as much to others. When you’re invited into a French household for a meal (lunch or dinner), depending on your relationship with the host, it might be frowned upon to arrive empty-handed. But then, what should you bring?
It’s not that complicated, you can gift some flowers, a bottle of wine or champagne, some dessert, appetizers… The most important thing is to clearly not arrive empty-handed.
2. Do not be too early…
… nor too late. Arriving too late is definitely a big no-no in the French dining etiquette. But how would arriving too early also be a red flag?
Well, arriving too early would actually pressure your host to finish the preparation earlier than expected, in order to be available for the guests.
Keep in mind that the best time to ring at that doorbell would be about 10 to 15 minutes later than expected.
3. No elbows on the table
This is something we teach children at a very young age: do not put your elbows on the table while eating. Your spoon (or fork) should be the one travelling to your mouth, and not the other way around – do not lean forward.
On the other hand, do keep your forearms visible on the table, without having your elbows resting on it.
4. Smaller servings you shall eat
One other thing that I’ve always been taught regarding dining etiquette here in France is the serving sizes. We all know that you might be really, really hungry when you arrive at the table – and let’s face it, French food is delicious – but please, do NOT serve yourself with large serving sizes in your plate.
First of all, because it’s such a wasteful habit to have. You don’t want all of that precious food wasted and thrown away into the garbage simply because “vous avez les yeux plus gros que le ventre” (you have eyes bigger than your stomach). But mostly, it might give your company an unpleasant view. Who would like to sit next to a greedy glutton? Nobody. Absolutely nobody.
Instead, grab yourself smaller sized servings, and if you’re still hungry, go back in there, have some more. I’m not saying that you need to have ant-sized servings, but just grab enough, little by little.
It’s also a great way of paying attention to your stomach and in consequence, eat less. Taking the time to eat with smaller servings will make you feel “fuller” much faster.
5. Keep your mouth closed…
… while chewing. I should not even be explaining this one. This isn’t just a matter of French dining etiquette only, but pretty much everybody’s etiquette. Chewing with your mouth open is considered as deeply disgusting and profoundly rude to everybody around you.
Avoid talking when you have food in your mouth. Wait until you have swallowed it to begin speaking.
6. Do not serve yourself first
Do not pour your own glass first. Always ask if someone else would like a drink.
Regarding food, if you’re the one serving, always serve others first and yourself last.
7. Do not start eating before everybody else
If you’re not serving but already have a full plate in front of you, do not jump right in and start eating. Instead, wait patiently for everybody else after you to be served, greet them “bon appétit” and start eating along with them.
8. Your smartphone you shall keep away
I am a strong believer of keeping your phone away from the table while you eat, even in a familial and casual context. French people will find it rude when someone has their phone on the table while eating, let alone using it…
If you’re a parent and you’re worrying about your babysitter trying to call you, tell your host that you are awaiting an important call and set your phone on silent mode. Leave it somewhere you can clearly see it.
9. Don’t leave while people are still eating
Simple but powerful. Do not get up or leave the table when someone is still eating. They might feel pressured to finish their plate faster, or worse, you will seem rude to everybody seated.
If you need to get up during the meal, do tell them that you need to get up but don’t take too long to come back. In France, we teach children to stay seated during the entire meal and to ask politely to get up if they need to. They should be getting out of table only if the parents tell them that they can.
10. Take your time and enjoy your meal
At the end of the day, French dining etiquette is here to guide us through a good time, for yourself but also for others. Be nice and courteous. The most important thing that will honor your host is to genuinely enjoy your meal by taking the time to savour it.
The truth about French dining etiquette
Remember, meals should represent precious moments of sharing and discussions. Always be grateful for the food that you have in your plate and take the time to appreciate it.
Bonus
If you would like to go the extra mile and master French fining etiquette, I have prepared these 10 tips in French, in a printable document that you can casually keep at home.
